You know the feeling of an emotional flood, right? It could show up with pain in your throat and uncontrollable tears. Or maybe seeing red and feeling a pounding rage rip through your chest and arms. Sometimes the flood is a sweeping terror with shaking and ice-cold hands and feet.
We all know what it’s like to have an emotion overwhelm our body and mind. It’s painful, scary, embarrassing, even dangerous sometimes. We feel out of control and at the mercy of the emotion.
It feels like these storms come out of nowhere. Yet, most of the time, there are signs before the emotional overwhelm. Fast heartbeat, shallow breath, tightness in the chest or throat, or even sight is tunneling and sound dampening.
If we can catch these signs, we have a greater chance of helping ourselves through the emotional flood. There are still ways to help when in the middle of it too. The short answer is ground and listen. How exactly do you do that?
Grounding
Focus your attention on a single, calming sensation. Noticing your body in space speaks safety to your subcortical brain. Bring your attention to the surface supporting your body, the feel of sun or wind on your skin, or your toes wiggling in shoes. Anything you can focus on right now so that your brain can register the physical safety of your body at this moment. My favorite way to ground is by putting my bare feet in the grass. Not only am I getting the physical sensation inputs, but also some time in nature.
Listen
So often we try to escape the flood, by pushing the feelings away or trying to stop them. Avoidance isn’t the answer; trying to stop it either doesn’t work or simply delays it. Instead, listen to the flood by naming the body sensations and emotions you’re experiencing. Putting words to what you feel helps soothe the flood, you are asking your brain to move into left-mode processing, which inhibits right-mode processing and the overwhelming feelings.
Practice - Put Them together
If we mix these two techniques, the outcome is a little like- My chest is tight, and my heart is beating fast. Feel ground under my feet, both the weight of my body and the sensation of tennis shoes touching my soles. I feel scared.
It seems simple, but this skill is HUGE in learning to self soothe and manage your emotional reactions. Using these simple tools can change your life.
One more way to link these tools together is to place your palm wherever the body sensations are strongest, and through the palm of your hand communicate: I see you/I feel you. Right here, I feel angry/scared/anxious/sad.
Now, I would love to hear from you! Keep the conversation going and connect with me. Practice these techniques and share what you notice in the chat!