I can tell I’m stir crazy today. I can tell because there’s music playing as I type. (Al Green, if you’re looking for someone to listen to.) I usually focus entirely on the task at hand, so any other noise, really any distraction, will generally stop progress.
Yet, today the distraction is helping me focus. I am dancing a bit and singing along - Let me say, before I forget, loving you is where it’s at. Plus, at the same time, these words are coming quickly. So how do I know that this “distracted” work is right for me today?
The truth is, it is difficult to know what will be right at any given moment. We make decisions all the time, but some are harder than others. A certain amount of trust is involved. Can I trust myself to do what is best for me at any given moment? Building that trust takes time and practice. The practice requires two ingredients: curiosity and presence.
Practice Curiosity & Presence
Curiosity helps us to ask, what is going on with me now? Am I listening to music as a way to distract myself, or is it improving a flow state? Do I keep working at this relationship, or am I done? Am I trying to comfort some part of myself with pie, or do I just love the occasional dessert for breakfast? Who doesn’t love sweets for breakfast sometimes!? Curiosity is what helps us come to an answer each time we face a new decision, big or small.
Often instead of curiosity, we are in judgment or working off some belief that may not fit the current situation. For example, do you have an immediate response to any question above? Could be a judgment about eating for comfort or a rebellious internal voice that thinks listening to music helps get stuff done. In reality, there are so many right decisions in each of these situations. There are so many right ways to live! The continually changing factors in any decision: you and the moment at which you are deciding.
Which brings us to presence. Immersing yourself in each moment, with curiosity toward your thoughts and reactions, is one way to build trust in yourself. Without presence, we are left working off subconscious beliefs and any unconscious pattern that applies to the situation we find ourself in.
Ask Yourself Questions & Listen for a reaction
By bringing focus and attention to yourself, your automatic responses, and your internal world is the way out forward with any decision. Ask yourself questions: What happens in my body when I think about staying with this person? What happens in my body when I think about leaving? Does the pie bring joy and satisfaction, or do I feel uncomfortable in some way? How is my mind as the music plays softly in the background?
Every moment is another opportunity to reflect on your internal experience and build trust with yourself. You’ve got this! Listen to what’s happening inside of you, stay curious and stay present. You’ll find what’s right for you. And be easy on yourself, what’s right can change with every situation.
Share your process with me! Write a comment below about a decision you are trying to make and share what is happening inside as you think about it.